Beat Your Heart Out

In a span of a week I've had coffee dates, dinner dates, Skype dates, and phone calls with girlfriends, of course every time the subject of boys come up. As a 20-something, dating is a thing that we feel is an obligation, like we NEED to do it, so we can find someone to live with happily ever after.

Finding a person doesn't always make you happy. You have to be able to make yourself happy before bringing another human into the mix. 

First off, you don't have to date or even want to date right now or ever. Sometimes you have MUCH better things than spending 2 hours out with someone you kind of know, having small talk that most likely won't go to a next date. 

Learn to love yourself and you shall find someone that will love you even more.

This is something I realized 2 years ago.

Before someone else will be able to love you, YOU have to love yourself truly and honestly. 

Find the little things in life that push you to be the best you there is. For me its going to the gym, that is my truest form of loving myself. I don't do it for anyone but myself.

 

Millennial Dating--Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc.etc.

The way that our generation dates now is honestly dreadful. Its great you can meet so many people you would never have run into normally, but now there are so many options that no one wants to stick around for an extended period of time. We all have heard these before I think: I'm not looking for anything serious or I'm just not ready to commit. Cool-BYE. These are classic ways to keep everything as casual as possible, and if that's what you're looking for, that’s fine; be blunt and upfront with the other person.

All too often though we are put into situations where someone uses one of those cliche sayings but then acts as though you're actually a couple. I have numerous friends right now that don't know how to manage that situation or their person isn't responding to messages (looks like ghosting) but she can't really say much since they aren't "together". Why are these the normal situations now?! Why are we constantly trying to analyze relations rather than being upfront or backing off?

GUYS please get your shit together--JUMP in or stay out of the pool.

 

Explore & learn about yourself

We are young. We have years to find the right person. Take this time to see the world, to do things that your old partner didn't want to. By getting outside your comfort zone you learn a tremendous amount about yourself. If you are still stuck on your old person, I get it, BUT analyze yourself and figure what made the relationship crack. Was it your anxiety like it was for mine, maybe neediness rather than being independent, who knows but sit and write down where it could've gone wrong. At that point see if that is something you have control over; for me now I try hella hard to not put my anxiety on anyone else. It is MY problem, I am the only one that can actually fix it. 

Loneliness is normal

Being single can be lonely but just remember you aren't alone.

There are probably a dozen friends or family that want to hear from you. Call them. I enjoy being alone, but it does get hard. I'm lucky that I have friends that know that I'll call when it becomes too much. I have a friend that I talk to every day which is a nice consistent routine and allows for any loneliness to subside a bit.

There is too much pressure on our generation to try and find the one before 25 in order to be married with kids before 30. Try not to care what society is trying to get you to do, do what makes you happy.

These are just some of my thoughts and feelings surrounding dating and relationships in todays age.

What do you think about how this generation dates?

-Cait xx

 Blog title The Distillers-Beat Your Heart Out